


helping hand

by determination



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: 30s gladio/20s ignis, College AU, M/M, Older Iris, ignis has anxiety
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-03
Updated: 2018-11-03
Packaged: 2019-08-16 20:46:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,545
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16502426
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/determination/pseuds/determination
Summary: It's important to get help when struggling, especially when the help comes from the best of places (ie, your longtime crush).





	helping hand

**Author's Note:**

> oooook this is entirely self indulgent. the idea for this is based on my own school situation, so it may not make.... perfect sense... to anyone else, but like i said, i mostly just wrote this for myself. this is a lot more idealistic than my own circumstances, though lmao  
> edit: i just realized i should probably explain this au a little bit more flsjldjd so ignis is a junior at university (studying idk what lmao probably history or smth) and gladio is a super wealthy bachelor who inherited a lot of money from his dad, and he now runs a small bookshop that deals with rare and unique books. they met thru iris bc ignis and iris had become friends and ignis developed a huge crush on gladio right away which just grew over the time they've known each other.  
> anyway, thanks for reading, and please no criticisms or critiques.

When Ignis walks up to the counter to place his order for the usual Ebony, Iris instantly picks up on his mood. She greets him with a sympathetic smile. "Rough day?"

Ignis can't be bothered to suppress a sigh as he nods wearily. " _ Rough _ doesn't even begin to cover it. The darkest blend you have, please. With at least a few extra shots of espresso."

"Comin' right up," Iris tells him, ringing him up. With a soft laugh, she adds, "Y'know, you're the only one I know who'd drown his sorrows in coffee instead of alcohol. Commendable."

"Is it, though?" Ignis quirks a brow at her while he hands her his card and she swipes it, then hands it back. "At this point, there's nothing in these veins but pure concentrated anxiety and caffeine." 

Iris lets out another laugh before abandoning the counter to start on his drink. Knowing she'll bring it to him when it's ready, Ignis finds a comfortable spot in the corner and collapses into the chair, slumping over the table. Another sigh escapes him as he stares out the window, watching passersby with aimless disinterest. 

It must be nice, to be someone else. Not that anyone is without worries that is to say, however Ignis would much prefer the blessing of a neurotypical brain, devoid of anxiety disorders. One that wouldn't force him to withdraw in the middle of the term because he can't function enough to actually go to his classes.

And he'd had all morning to calm down after the email he'd sent, but his insides are still vibrating with nervous energy. He just can't seem to relax. 

He's too tired to deal with this. And too scared to check the reply, but he knows he needs to. The sooner he gets it over with, the better.

Taking a long, deep breath, he retrieves his phone from his pocket and opens his inbox, refreshing and waiting with bated breath as it loads in one new email. 

 

Ignis,

I received your documents from my office mailbox. Thank you for providing the letter response from your therapist confirming your condition. I will use the information we discussed to fill out my part of the appeal form. Let me know when you are free to pick it up. I'll be here for the rest of the week, my usual office hours. You should turn it in to the Financial Aid Office as soon as possible to ensure you make the deadline.

Feel free to shoot me another email if you have any other questions! 

Be well,

Cor Leonis

Academic Advising

 

Ignis breathes a sigh of relief this time. He'd known his guidance counselor would be understanding, but it had still been utterly nerve wracking waiting to hear back about whether the documents he'd provided would be enough. Of course, his therapist had assured him she would vouch for his current state - the one that prevented him from even seeking help for a while, until it got so bad that he actually felt suicidal before admitting that he might need help - so perhaps the concern had been unnecessary (and exaggerated). 

Such is his plight, though. His anxiety refuses to let anything be a small deal. It's either a sizable problem, or a downright catastrophe, and nothing less. And it had only gotten progressively worse the more time he spent at his university. All he can hope is that the medication he'd recently started will help, once it's had enough time to metabolize. 

Ignis types a small thank you email before re-pocketing his phone. His heart rate had picked up in the time he'd taken to read the email, so he removes his glasses and buries his face in his hands, focusing on his breathing. 

In, two, three, four, out, two, three, four. Repeat. Steadying, deep breaths to bring back a semblance of a regulated heartbeat. He feels his feet on the ground, feels the hard chair against his thighs and back, feels the surface of the table under his elbows. He grounds himself, relieved to feel the precursors of an anxiety attack ebbing away.

He'll be okay. He tells himself this, recites the words in his head and wills himself to believe it. He'll collect the appeal form from Mr. Leonis tomorrow, he'll bring it to the Financial Aid Office, and then all he'll have to do is wait to hear the decision. There's no reason they wouldn't approve the appeal. He'll be okay.

He startles when he hears someone clear their throat, moving his hands from his face and hurrying to replace his glasses on his nose. Where he had expected Iris, he's instead met with a familiar tall, bulky man. 

Ignis gasps, eyes traveling from the coffee in the man's hands to the scars on his face and the amiable smile on his lips. "Gladio!"

"Hey, Iggy, long time no see," the older man greets, holding the drink toward him. "Iris asked me to give this to ya."

"Th-thank you," Ignis gets out, hastily accepting the coffee. His heart is racing again, this time spurred on by the sudden appearance of his longtime crush, who he hadn't seen in a few months. "I... I didn't know you were back."

"Only got back recently, stopped in to see my sis," Gladio says. He stuffs his hands in his jacket pockets and gazes at Ignis for a moment. "... You busy?"

Ignis blinks at him. "Busy? I... Well, no. Truth be told, I have no plans whatsoever for the rest of the day."

One of Gladio's brows quirks up. "You? Planless? That's new." He instantly seems to pick up on the way Ignis averts his gaze to the drink his hands, then scratches the back of his neck and gives Ignis an apologetic look. "Ain't a bad thing, though. You wanna talk about it? I don't have anywhere to be."

Despite himself, Ignis finds the offer tempting. In the years he's known Gladio, he'd always been a valuable confidant, easy to talk to and willing to give advice if he can. However, he fears that his childish concerns and current situation would be far too pitiful to share with someone as successful and accomplished as Gladio. He shakes his head and offers Gladio a soft smile. "It's nothing of consequence, you needn't trouble yourself. I would enjoy your company, though, should you choose to join me."

Nodding as he takes a seat, Gladio returns the smile. The expression makes Ignis' heart flutter. How is it possible that he can feel simultaneously so at ease with this man, yet also be overwhelmed with nervousness upon speaking with him? It makes no sense, but Ignis doesn't dwell on it, lest his anxiety run away with him.

"If you want, I could tell you about my trip to Niflheim. Might distract ya. Remember you sayin' you would've liked to travel there if you could, so I thought maybe I could share the experience." Gladio is still smiling at him. A warm feeling washes over him.

"I'm surprised you remembered," Ignis admits. He pauses to sip his drink, savoring the dark blend and heat on his tongue. "But yes, I think I would like to hear about your trip. If I recall correctly, you went with a friend of yours to locate some rare books?"

Gladio nods, looking pleased by Ignis' memory. "That's right. Aranea's originally from Niflheim, so she offered to come with an' show me around."

"Where did you go, exactly?" Ignis can't curb his enthusiasm as he adds, "I do hope you were able to stop in Altissia. I've heard nothing but glowing praise of its extravagant beauty. And its excellent cuisine."

Gladio laughs lightly. "Cuisine, 'course you'd mention that. None of the praise is exaggerated, I'll tell you that much. It's a whole different world from Insomnia. Rich with history, too. The libraries I visited were extensive. The only place I liked better was Tenebrae, but that might just be 'cause I found the books I wanted there." 

"Details, please," Ignis says, eyes shining. 

"About Tenebrae or about the books?" When Ignis gives him a look that says,  _ both, obviously, _ Gladio laughs again. 

Ignis allows himself to get lost in the older man's descriptions of Niflheim's famous locations. Gladio shows him pictures he'd taken of the places he'd visited, the foods he'd eaten, and all of it feels almost surreal. A different world, indeed. 

As he listens to Gladio's voice, he finds himself the calmest he's felt all week. Gladio's tone and timbre are an odd mixture of rough and silky, deep and melodious, lulling him into a state of blissful comfort. 

"So these books you picked up while there," he gestures at the picture Gladio had just shown him, "are they to be sold in the store, or are they for your personal collection?"

"Take a guess," Gladio tells him with an amused grin.

Ignis rolls his eyes, the expression lacking any real annoyance. "I would wager they're for your personal collection. I doubt you'd go through such lengths to procure them if you were simply planning to sell them."

"Ding ding! We have a winner." Winking at him, Gladio goes on, "You know me well, Iggy. The particular volume of Eos' history I got is practically an antique. It's worth a fortune because it's one of a kind now, and nobody knows what happened to the other copies." He shrugs and adds, "Honestly, I didn't expect the library to actually part with it. Feelin' pretty blessed I could talk them into letting me take it home."

"It certainly is a surprise," Ignis nods, his brows furrowed. "I rather wonder how much money you laid down to convince them."

Gladio throws his hands up in defeat, laughing. "You caught me. It was the combined efforts of my silver tongue and a huge wad of cash."

"That being the case, I would have been more surprised had they turned you down." A smile tugs at the corners of Ignis' mouth when Gladio laughs again. He really likes the sound of that laugh. It makes him forget the completely different backgrounds they come from, fills him with a warm, tingling sensation. 

The conversation continues until Ignis' phone goes off, and he excuses himself to answer it, getting up to take a few steps away. One glance at the screen shows caller ID belonging to his guidance counselor, the sight of the name causing a tremor of unease to run through him. 

"Cor," he says, trying to keep his nerves out of his voice, "Did you need something?"

"Ignis, sorry to call so soon after I responded to your email." Cor sounds apologetic, which just makes Ignis more nervous. "I remembered something important we hadn't discussed yet that you should probably know going forward. The appeal we're working on is to make sure you don't have to pay back the financial aid you were awarded for the term from which you're withdrawing. However, since you'll be on leave from classes, you won't be eligible for further financial aid until you return."

Ignis' heart stutters painfully, and his breath catches in his throat. "Wh... what do you mean...?" He's unable to keep the quiver from his voice this time.

"I'm so sorry for neglecting to mention this before. It's completely my fault. I know you rely on financial aid to pay for housing and food, so this must come as quite a shock. But I want you to know that I'm willing to help you look for options. There are scholarships outside of academia that you can apply for..."

He knows he should keep listening. He knows this is important, knows Cor is trying to help. But his mind is fixated on those words. 

_ He won't be eligible for further financial aid _ . He won't be able to pay rent, nor feed himself. 

All the confidence he'd been trying to build up comes crashing down, crushing him. Why had he thought this was a good idea? Sure, he would have failed all of his classes had he continued the way he'd been going, and his anxiety would have continued spiraling out of control, but at least he would have had money to keep a roof over his head and groceries in his pantry. How will he pay for his medications? His therapy sessions? 

"-Ignis?" He can hear Cor's voice, but it sounds far away, fuzzy. He knows he should respond, assure Cor he's fine, thank him for his help, and hang up. He's frozen, though; petrified, and aware that his breathing has become shallow and ragged. Tears prick his eyes.

What is he going to do? It's too much to think about. It's too much. It's too m-

"Ignis!" 

A gasp lodges in Ignis' throat when he processes that it was Gladio's voice he'd heard this time. Loud and clear. And suddenly, hands are on his shoulders, gently guiding him back to his seat. He feels his phone being taken from his hand, vaguely registers that Gladio has exchanged words with Cor, before the phone is placed back into his pocket. 

Large hands take his own. "You're okay, Iggy. I promise you, it's okay. I want you to breath with me. Can you do that?" Barely managing a nod, Ignis tries to focus on the warmth of those hands, tries to push through the fog of panic. "I'm gonna count in threes. For each set, I want you to breathe in, count to three, hold, count to three, then breathe out, count to three. I'll do it, too." A squeeze to Ignis' hands, then, "Are you ready?"

Ignis does his best to follow with Gladio's instructions. He puts all of his attention toward the sensation of his expanding and contracting lungs, forces himself to feel the air entering and being pushed out with each breath. Gladio talks to him through each breath, his voice a constant, deep hum that pulls Ignis back to the ground, brings feeling back to his face and clears some of the fog from his mind. 

Gradually, they increase the count to four. Eyes closed, Ignis is relieved to feel his heart rate slowing. The sting of tears has faded to a dull ache now. Any time the fear starts to come back, Ignis focuses on Gladio's voice, and lets Gladio's soft touch keep him grounded.

When he finally feels calm enough, he reopens his eyes. The gentle expression on Gladio's face catches him completely by surprise, his heart skipping a beat for a new reason as he meets Gladio's gaze. "Feelin' better?" 

"... Indeed," Ignis murmurs, heat flooding his cheeks. "Thank you for... your assistance. I apologize for my loss of composure."

Gladio shakes his head. He doesn't let go of Ignis' hands. "Ain't nothing to apologize for. I'm just glad if I was able to help."

_ Too kind _ , Ignis thinks. He's too kind.

Gladio watches him silently for a moment before speaking again, somewhat hesitant. "I know it's none of my business, but... What happened, Iggy? What have you been goin' through since we last saw each other?"

Ignis bites his bottom lip, averting his eyes to the abandoned coffee cup on the table. The panic attack had drained him, enough that he can't bring himself to hide anything from Gladio. "... I withdrew from the term," he says quietly.

"Withdrew?" Gladio's eyes widen.

"I know I've mentioned before. About my... anxiety." With a sigh, Ignis looks back up, but he's unable to hold eye contact for long. "It had gotten to the point that I couldn't leave my room. I had a failing grade in every class I was enrolled in. If... If Noct hadn't found out, I might have done something drastic. But he encouraged me to seek help. I started going to therapy, and I've started taking medications to help me deal with it. I couldn't stay in school, though. I just... I'm not capable of it right now."

While he listened, Gladio's expression had softened, then darkened. His brows furrowed, he murmurs, "I should have been here. You were struggling, an' I had no idea. I was just busy dicking around, on vacation..."

"Do not blame yourself," Ignis tells him, twisting his hand to hold Gladio's and give it a light squeeze. "In this situation, no one knew what was happening because I could not find the strength to reach out. And, regardless, I wouldn't have wanted to needlessly burden you with my troubles."

Gladio frowns. "It's not a burden, Iggy. You're not a burden. I wanna help you." Ignis' blush brightens. "So what was that call just now?"

Reluctance causes Ignis to bite his tongue, but he repeats Gladio's words in his head, wills his mouth to keep working. "... My guidance counselor, Cor Leonis. He helped me through the withdrawal process, and is further aiding me with an appeal to keep me from having to pay back the financial aid I was awarded for the term. However..." Ignis' throat feels thick as he tries to get the words out. "He has informed me that while I am on leave from the university, I will be unable to receive any financial aid. Without that aid, I... I won't be able to..." 

He bites his tongue as he once more feels the hot sting of tears. "I apologize. I know such problems must feel quite foreign to you." At that, Gladio's frown deepens. "I... I do not come from a wealthy family, and I have no one to turn to for financial help. Up until now, I had been completely reliant on whatever money I could receive from the school. And my anxiety has prevented me from getting a job, so..." 

Having listened in silence until now, Gladio speaks up, his grip on Ignis' hand tightening. "You could stay with me."

Ignis feels his eyes bug out of his head. "I- No!" he blurts, instantly feeling guilty when Gladio's expression falls. "I mean- I simply... I wouldn't want to... I couldn't dare impose upon you like that."

"You wouldn't be imposing," Gladio tells him. When Ignis doesn't respond, he sighs in resignation. "I get it. Y'know I wouldn't force you if it would make you uncomfortable. But... If that's off the table, then what about workin' at my shop?"

"Working at...?" That does pique Ignis' interest, though he's still hesitant. "But what could you possibly employ me for? I thought you told me the bookstore was small enough to run by yourself."

A soft chuckle escapes Gladio. "Yeah, but it's boring as hell workin' on my own. And I hate sorting books and shelving 'em. Honestly, having an extra pair of hands would be a huge help. Plus, you wouldn't have to interact with anybody, except me of course." Ignis eyes him suspiciously, after which he adds, "Look, I'm not offering out of charity or anything like that. If you wanna feel like you're earning the money, I'm offering you a job. And even if you turn me down, I'll keep makin' suggestions until we find some way I can help."

Gladio's kindness makes Ignis want to cry. Forcing down the feeling, he gives the older man a small smile. "... If you would have me, I would greatly appreciate the opportunity to work at your store."

"That's what I like to hear," Gladio beams at him. "We'll get your schedule figured out over the weekend. I'm really lax when it comes to that stuff, so don't worry too much about it. And don't hesitate to let me know when you're havin' a tough time and can't come in. But, uh, for now, you should rest and focus on that appeal thing you were talkin' about." He squeezes Ignis' hand once again. "Plus, you've got my number. So don't hesitate to let me know if I can ever do anything for ya, alright?"

With a short nod, Ignis voices his affirmation. "Thank you, Gladio." 

"No problem," the older man tells him, eyes sparkling. Ignis finds himself thinking he wouldn't mind getting lost in those eyes. 

Gladio stays at the coffee shop for as long as Ignis is there, only leaving when Ignis himself is on his way out.

  
  


\--

 

"I'd like to thank you again for this," Ignis murmurs, pausing where he had begun putting the books in their alphabetical places on the shelf. "Your kindness truly saved me."

Gladio observes him quietly for a brief moment. Then he's stepping closer, into Ignis' personal space. Ignis' breath catches in his throat, blush starting to color his cheeks.

"Y'know, I..." Gladio's voice is husky as he meets Ignis' eyes. "I had more than one reason I wanted you here."

Heart racing, Ignis doesn't protest while Gladio backs him up against the bookshelf, pinning him there. Somehow, he manages to keep his voice steady. "Did you, now." The heat of Gladio pressing against him makes him feel lightheaded, but the sensation isn't unwelcome. In fact, he actually finds that he likes it quite a bit. 

"Now that I've got you... I might not be able to let you go." Leaning closer, Gladio's breath ghosts Ignis' lips, a faint smile on his own. 

Ignis can't help but smile, as well. "Who says you would have to?" 


End file.
